Choosing Love
by ChoButterfly
Summary: Miaka is caught up in a whilrwind of decisions. Should she stay faithful to the one who left her, when he promised he wouldn't? Is there someone else?


Title: Choosing Love  
Author: Cho_Butterly  
This was a request for a cool friend of mine! More comments at the bottom :)  
  
  
  
The soft petals descended down from the sky, falling and fluttering around the solitary figure of Miaka like tiny fairies come to dance among her presence. They gently kissed at her cheeks, led by the wind in their stray path. Miaka looked up at them, standing by herself in the inner palace gardens, inwardly surrounded by emptiness. Strangely, one small petal remained on her face. She brushed it off, only to find that it had been stuck there because her face was damp. She ran a hand underneath her eyes. Tears? Had she been crying all this time? She sank down onto her knees, not minding if she dirtied the edge of her skirt anymore.   
Nothing, for the trouble of it, mattered anymore. She closed her eyes, feeling the cheeks fall down her face like a rapid torrent of feelings now. Her chest grew tight in apprehension of the sad thoughts that loomed in her mind.  
'Why did you go, Tamahome? You promised you'd stay that night...' she thought to herself, cupping her hands over her face. She rocked herself back and forth, trying to ease the pain that was burning within her. Out loud, she hissed, "You promised you'd stay."  
  
~*~  
Stare discreetly in my eyes  
Hushed fingers, brush my lips.  
Allow your thoughts to fuse with mine  
In never-ending bliss.  
~*~  
  
Mind wondering to wherever it may go, Chichiri ambled leisurely through the palace gardens, not hearing the distant weeping of Miaka quite yet. He played with the rosary strung about his neck, knowing naught what to do. Then, in the middle of his wonderings, he stopped. Ears strained, he heard a small whimpering coming up around the bend of the path. Curiosity getting the better of him, and taking steps more cautiously now, he peeked his head around the edge of a fairly large bush, careful to not be seen.  
What he saw nearly made his heart break. Miaka looked so pitiful, slumped carelessly on the ground, shivering as the tears ran so salty down her face. She looked so sad, so full of angst, that for a moment, Chichiri wanted to rush up to her and ask her what was the matter.  
No, he thought to himself, that would be stupid. To rush in and blurt out what was the matter with her might make things even worse. It might startle her. He knew he had to talk to her... he couldn't let her keep crying like this; but he'd have to do it gently. The best way, he assumed, was to start walking again. Maybe if she heard him before she saw him, she'd brace herself to talk to him.  
So, he began to walk.  
  
~*~  
Please, don't leave me yet.  
No, for in this dream I sleep.  
And though the world before us threats  
To fledge love's wound so deep.  
  
I will still love you  
~*~  
  
Silently weeping and rocking herself back and forth seemed not to dissuade Miaka of her pain; it only made it worse. 'Did he leave me because he doesn't love me anymore? Why did he lie to me? Does he... like Yui better?' Those bitter thoughts stabbed at Miaka's heart. Suddenly, though, she froze in her lamenting. Was that the sound of... footsteps? Quickly, so as not to be embarrassed, Miaka rubbed her blotchy red eyes clear of tears, straightened out her skirt on her knees, and waited. Then, she heard his voice.  
"Miaka?" She turned around, mouth slightly ajar, as she faced his catlike mask. She looked up, slightly stunned for a moment, but regained her thoughts once again.  
"O-oh.. Hello, Ch-Chichiri.." she mumbled, stumbling over her words as if she had never spoken before. She looked at him as if she were a small fawn, lost without her mother's care nearby.  
Chichiri swallowed, looking deep into her saddened red eyes, before contemplating what to say next. "Uhm... Is something troubling you, no da?" he asked, gingerly reaching out a hand to help her stand up. She took it gratefully, dusting off her soiled skirt, reaching just a little bit above Chichiri's chin when she stood. Not wanting to answer the question, Miaka stood silently, feeling strangely both comfortable and at unease in his presence. She shifted her feet below her, digging the side of her foot into the pebbled path.  
Chichiri smiled weakly at her. "Not in the mood, no da? Okay then; want something to eat, no da?" he asked, knowing that he'd chosen his words perfectly, for the instant following, a bright smile erupted on Miaka's face.  
"Yes!"  
'Sheesh, what a little food can do to a girl, no da' Chichiri thought wryly, amused as Miaka dragged him across the gardens into the kitchen.  
  
  
~*~  
For waking now would drive me mad;  
To drive our love astray,  
And everything I've ever had  
With you will fade away.  
~*~  
  
"Mmm...Snarf, gobble...Dish ish... Much, crunch...Goof! Fank yuu... Slurp, gulp... Chichiri!" Miaka mumbled in-between bites of food. She didn't even look up at her companion, who was strangely silent. She devoured her food, taking on plates at a time.  
Meanwhile, Chichiri stood back, smiling contentedly at the gluttonous girl before him. He studied her face, eyes focused and intent. He shouldn't be staring at her like that, its was rude, but he couldn't help it. He blinked, eyes still focused on her. He neither smiled nor frowned, but simply kept his rapt attention solely on her. He couldn't help himself... And that was strange. He had never felt like this before. What was this sensation? His stomach churned, though his heart was at ease around Miaka.  
As Miaka finished dabbing at her lips with a giant white napkin, she giggled slightly, before looking up to see Chichiri staring at her. She grew silent, returning the stare for the tiniest moment, before her cheeks tinted pink and she looked down into her lap. 'Why is he looking at me?' Miaka thought to herself, feeling her face burn. 'Is there something on my face?'  
Chichiri shook his head, jolting himself out of his trance. He stood up abruptly, causing Miaka to look back up at him with slight confusion.  
"I...I'll be going now, no da" he mumbled, before turning around and exiting the dining hall. Miaka reached out a hand to stop him, but no words of her cause escaped her mouth. She just stood there, arm extended, mouth open, unable to say anything. She sighed, slumping back down in her seat.   
And just for a moment; one tiny, little moment, she forgot about Tamahome.  
  
~*~   
Hush now, don't move your lips  
And let this feeling last.  
For if this sleepless dream persists,  
This love will drain steadfast.  
  
And I will be there for you.  
~*~  
  
That night, Chichiri stood outside his room atop the balcony, elbows on the railing, hands cupping his chin. He had taken his mask off, and now let the cool night breeze dance gently on his cheeks, and atop his scar. His sole eye looked up towards the pale moon, which pressed up against the dark abyss of the night. No summer stars were out to comfort him tonight. He blinked, closing his eyes and letting the quiet night devour him.  
Some of the times that he pondered, his mind wandered to Miaka, as he stood thinking of many things that evening. Sometimes, it would travel to more personal subjects, or even to the other seishi. But they would all lead back to Miaka. Why was she so sad?  
The nightly ritual of standing alone by himself to ponder things had become even more frequent now, as the days passed by. With Tamahome gone, trouble was just brewing for the fate of Hong-Nan, and Chichiri needed some time to think of those substances, and even sometimes he'd try to forget it and allow his mind to be cleansed of their troubles.  
Wait, Tamahome...  
Chichiri stopped, pondering on the money-grubbing, yet loving young man that had recently disappeared. 'Maybe that's why Miaka...' he thought to himself, but was interrupted by the sound of gentle footsteps behind him. He turned around, greeted by the sight of Miaka, wrapped in her nightgown, meekly looking up at him. Her eyes danced on Chichiri's scar momentarily, but looked downwards as soon as he caught her eye. Ashamed, Chichiri reached for his mask, which lay a his side. He felt uncomfortable about it, sure that Miaka would find his scarred face unsightly. But, just as he was about to pick the mask up, he heard Miaka's tiny voice pipe up.  
"It's okay, you don't have to..." Chichiri turned around, caught by surprise. He stared at Miaka, but turned away again.  
"Miaka... Why are you here, no da?" he said, intending to make his voice sound certain of himself, but came out as shy a whisper as when Miaka had spoken to him.  
Miaka looked down at the floor, shuffling her feet. "I'm sorry... I just... I wanted to thank you," she murmured, not daring to look up at him. She felt badly to have put him, and herself, for that matter, in an awkward situation. She didn't know what it was, but she felt strange around Chichiri, like when she first met Tamahome...  
Tamahome. The sheer though of him caused a tear to trickle down her cheek. She sniffled slightly, hoping Chichiri would not hear her. He turned around.  
"What would you thank me for, no da...?" he looked at Miaka, bent over, and heard her whimper. Confused, he stopped, looking down at the frame of the tiny girl. Placing a tender finger under her chin, he lifted her face up to meet with his. He was slightly shocked to see that Miaka was crying again. The pain silhouetted in her eyes was nearly unbearable.  
"Miaka, what's the matter, no da?" he asked gently, watching as Miaka swallowed the deep lump in her throat. Her lips twinged, her eyes watered, and she broke down in front of him. She simply stood, eyes locked with his, feeling the warmth of his hand under her chin, and broke down. She was sure, now, that he would think her a freak, strange for bursting out in tears for no apparent reason.  
But instead, Chichiri brought his arms around her, and cradled her lithe body in his arms, allowing Miaka to bury her head into his chest. At first, Miaka was shocked at his actions, but then when she slipped into his arms, everything felt smooth and liquid. All her actions, his actions, seemed... Right. Gently, he rocked her side to side, allowing her to let go of all the pain locked up deep inside her thoughts.  
It seemed it had been forever that Miaka cried, but she slowly stopped, allowing one last whimper to escape her lips, before she pulled away from Chichiri's embrace.  
'He was there for me, all that time... And he didn't even budge. He was right there...' Miaka thought to herself, looking up at Chichiri. She then noticed the awkward position that they were in. Chichiri had his arms still wrapped gently around her hips, as Miaka rested her hands atop his chest. They both looked at each other, not sure what to do. Quickly, Miaka turned her face, blushing, and felt the warmth of Chichiri's hands leave her waist. She rested her hands behind her back, and looked back at Chichiri. He was facing his back towards Miaka, shuffling his feet nervously. Tenderly, Miaka slipped her hand in his, causing him to turn around and look at her. His heart thumped nervously; leaped at his ribcages. What was this feeling?  
Miaka smiled, grabbing Chichiri's other hand, so they faced towards each other.  
"Again, thank you... For being there for me," Miaka said, reaching up on her tip-toes to be level with Chichiri.  
This was it! Chichiri's stomach churned, as he saw Miaka's face near his. He closed his eye, puckered his lips, and waited. Instead, Miaka deftly planted a kiss on his cheek, pulling back to see Chichiri ineptly open his eye, lips sticking out in an expression that caused Miaka to giggle. Trying to redeem himself, Chichiri brought his lips back and bit them, as if trying to disguise his patient longing for a kiss over him simply having wanted to nibble at them.  
"Good-night, Chichiri," Miaka whispered, turning around to head out of his room, and back to her sleeping quarters.  
"G-Good-night, Miaka, no da.." Chichiri trailed off, a blush and a smile on his lips.  
  
~*~  
And when we stare at stars above,  
I'll cling to you a moment longer.  
For in a world of unrequited love,  
Take me in your arms; we'll grow stronger.  
~*~  
  
"Well, giving you some sisterly advice (even though we're not sisters), I'd say give it a chance! Explore new boundaries! Uhm... But, don't explore with Hotohori. No, that'd be bad..." Nuriko shook his head, almost in a girly fashion. Miaka looked at him, nodding. They both sat on Nuriko's bed, having a rather interesting 'girl talk' over last day's experiences with Chichiri.  
"But... The problem is, I still love Tamahome, but he left me. And Chichiri is just so nice... I can't help liking them both. But still, Tamahome..." Miaka said, shaking her head. All these new emotions that she had gained yesterday were spinning in her head, making her stomach churn. Her mind drifted away, but she was bounced back into reality when Nuriko placed a steady hand on her shoulder.  
"Look, the way I see it, your relationship with Tamahome is crumbling. He left you, didn't he? Now, I know you may like him, but don't you think Chichiri feels the same way about you as you do him? Anyway, remember when we were spying on Tamahome at his home? His father said Tama-baby needed a wife! Now, I'm sure you can't live up to those standards. What's going to happen if you were to be his wife, then left to go back to your own home? He'd be crushed. It's better you break it off now, give it a shot with Chichiri (who doesn't need a wife), and if things don't work out, Tama-baby's gone, so he wouldn't even know..." Nuriko continued, slyly winking at Miaka. He was about to continue, when Miaka interrupted him abruptly.  
"No, Nuriko! That's wrong! I still love Tamahome, and would never do anything like that to him!" she yelled, tears running down her cheeks. She looked down at Nuriko, who looked sincerely hurt.  
"I'm sorry, Miaka. I was just trying to help..." Nuriko trailed off, turning his back on the bed to face away from Miaka. She looked down at him, feeling awful for having yelled. Still, she was bothered by the fact that everything that Nuriko had said had been true. She couldn't be Tamahome's wife, and he would never know if she had a relationship with Chichiri. That's what drove her mad.  
"Look, Nuriko, I'm sorry...It's just that everything's so confusing," Miaka called out plaintively, sitting down behind Nuriko and giving him a gentle hug. She stood up, leaving the room quietly, as a grin grew on Nuriko's face.  
"She likes him, alright..." he said, standing of to brush off his robe, and go talk to Chichiri.  
Though, Nuriko never made it to Chichiri.  
  
~*~  
We'll keep this tender moment elite,  
As long as our love remains free.  
And as the ground slips beneath our feet,  
You'll hold me.  
  
And I will return that love  
~*~  
  
She didn't know why she was back there again. Under the same old tree, watching as the trees, once luscious with petals, had been stripped bare of its colors by wind. She sat down against it, not crying this time. But it seemed as if everything hurt even more. She stirred, tipping her head back and closing her eyes. Why was she here? Was she hoping, for some strange reason, that Chichiri would come back? But... Why was she wanting Chichiri? What about Tamahome?  
Miaka groaned inwardly, feeling terribly empty inside. Oh, how she wished he would come... But, which 'he' would show up?  
What Nuriko had said made Miaka's stomach churn with uneasiness. He had been right. Why had she been fooling herself with Tamahome? They could never be together. And though she and Chichiri could never be together either, she wanted to before time ran out. Gently, the wind snaked through her loose hair and sent strands of chestnut hair flying on the edge of her cheek. She sighed heavily, then paused. Without opening an eye, she knew it was him; heard his footsteps as he neared her. Then, she heard him stir, his footsteps becoming softer. She opened her eyes.  
"No, wait... I'm awake," Miaka called out to Chichiri, reaching out a hand as he ambled off. He stopped, turned around, smiling softly as he watched Miaka stand up groggily.  
"Miaka! I though you were sleeping, no da... You seem upset; anything troubling you, no da?" Chichiri inquired, wrapping his arm around Miaka's, as he urged her to walk. They strolled around the garden, as Miaka shook her head. She remained silent, simply admiring the beauty of the ferns and wildlife thriving throughout the footpaths. Chichiri smiled, oftentimes catching glimpses of Miaka. After a few moment's silence, she stopped. Chichiri looked back, slightly confused.  
"Did he leave because he didn't love me anymore?" Miaka whispered to Chichiri, looking up at him with doubtful eyes. Chichiri gasped softly, staring deeply at Miaka. 'So, that's what's been bothering her..' he thought to himself. Gently, he reached out and pulled Miaka into embrace.  
"I'm absolutely positive it isn't that, no da. He loves you. Who could ever stop loving you, no da?" He pulled away slightly, face barely inches from Miaka. "You're beautiful..." he trailed off, not bothering to finish his sentence. He found his lips slowly closing the gap between them, as the world beyond them grew still.  
  
~*~  
We'll keep forever a sacred vow,  
That we'll meet again whenever.  
I beg you, please don't leave me now,  
And I will be yours forever  
~*~  
  
Miaka felt a warm breath tickling her lips, warm arms holding her as her legs crumble beneath her. Chichiri was claiming her for his, now and forever. And he lay his lips on hers.  
A tremendous jolt of fire flowed through their veins. Miaka's arms reached behind his back, holding on to him as she felt her body go limp in his hands. Her lips tingled with gentle kisses, deepening in feeling and emotion. His lips reached gently for more of her taste, aching for the electric feeling running up his spine. He wanted to deepen the kiss further, begging for more, but stopped. His mind screamed at him, she's in love with Tamahome, what are you doing?! Slowly breaking the kiss, he pulled apart from her in mere seconds. Dazed, Miaka still clung to him, so as not to topple over. She panted heavily, looking deeply into Chichiri's eyes. What she saw confused her. Despondency?  
"Chichiri..." she breathed, his name intoxicating her. Her world was falling around her.  
"Miaka, I'm sorry... It was a mistake, no da... You love Tamahome, and I know that; I shouldn't have... No da," Chichiri mumbled, turning away and placing his mask over his face.  
Miaka grasped for words, but could not find any. Tears stung in her eyes. But... Did she love Tamahome? What about... What about Chichiri? She shook her head, letting the tears spill. No, she could only pick one. All her life, she had longed for a love so passionate; so deep. And now, she had to choose.  
But, she knew who she would embrace. All those times, he had been there... He had saved her. And, he had comforted her; been there like a rock when she lost hope.  
"Chichiri, come back!" she yelled, tears flowing down her face. This time, though, they were not tears of angst. She knew it then, at that very moment, when he turned around, taking his mask off. She watched as his beautiful face lit up with the same joy that she harbored in her soul.  
She loved him.   
  
~*~  
And when it's time to say goodbye,  
Tell me everything is alright.  
Though you know even if you lie,  
I'll believe that you are right.  
  
Trust in me.  
~*~  
  
"Can I say it?" Miaka asked, burying the side of her head in Chichiri's chest and looking up at him through a half-closed eye. She stroked at his temples, smiling.  
"Yes."  
"No da," she murmured, giggling slightly.  
"And... Can I say something too, no da?" Chichiri asked, looking down at Miaka with a smile upon his lip. He kissed the top of her head, then looked at her tender face.  
"What?" Miaka whispered, closing her eyes.  
"Wo ai ni," Chichiri whispered, wrapping his arms around Miaka's tender waist.  
Miaka opened an eye at him, smiling. She questioned him, noticing his last sentence was missing something. "No da?"  
Chichiri bent in for a kiss, allowing the final words to escape his mouth before her lips surrendered to his.  
"No da."  
  
~*~  
For in a sleepless dream,  
All we hold on to will die.  
A sun could never last with moonbeam,  
But... What shall last?  
  
You and I.  
~*~  
  
  
Author's Note: Hey! How ya doin'? Did you like the story? It was a bit rushed, and I'm sorry I didn't finish the request until now, but I've been really busy all summer long! Heh! So, what do you think of it? This was a request for a friend of mine... I hope you liked it! Oh, don't bash me if you don't like Miaka x Chichiri... I don't know who I like Miaka with. But, I thought this was sweet! I'd appreciate it if you review ^^; E-mails are always loved and always welcome! Jubug_2000@yahoo.com!  
Expect more later!  
Ciao!  
~ Cho  
  
PS: The poem? I wrote it... Hope you liked it! ^_^  



End file.
